They were lost. 

All six of them. Sarah, Jessica, Lisa, Susan, Laura, and Mary.

They came up the path that begins at the edge of town, but that was in the morning. Now the sun was setting and they sat exhausted in a circle. No one said a word. They had wanted to be back by lunchtime, and had already been through all the phases of anger, doubt and blame. They were good friends, since before they could remember and about to enter their sophomore year in high school, so there was little blocking the progression of emotions. Before the sun fully set they agreed to get up and keep looking. 

None of them wanted to be lost. They all wished someone would find them, or show them the way. In the very last light of day, coming over a hill that overlooked a small valley, they caught a glimpse of a tiny one story stone house a short way up the opposite slope. There was a little light glowing through a window.

It was fully dark by the time they arrived at the house. They stood uncertain a few meters from the front door and whispered to each other whether they should knock. They all knew that they would, but they had to go through the motions of insecurity. Finally, after looking at the other girls for signs of approval, Sarah bravely, if not recklessly, walked forward to the front door. 

She was about to knock when the door swung open, “Ladies!! Come on in,” a confident male voice said. “The soup is almost ready. Time enough to wash up and get comfortable.”

They looked at him, but had a hard time seeing him. To some he looked more like Nick Jonas, to others Bruno Mars. His appearance shimmered a bit. Piece by piece, he came into focus. He looked familiar, but they didn’t know who he was. He had the feel of wisdom, but they could not guess his age.

“Are you going to come in, or just stand there and gawk at me?”

“You knew we were coming?” Asked Jessica.

“Of course. Don’t you know where you are?”

“No, we are lost.” She replied in an annoyed voice.

“Yes. You are lost. But where are you lost.?” He waited for a reply, but none came. “You are lost in the forest of your imagination. That is why it took some time for my appearance to come into focus. No? Since you are here together, you had to agree on what I looked like.” Taking a look at himself. “Not bad, if I do say so myself.”

“So, this isn’t real?” asked Lisa.

“Young lady. I am not going to stand here all night with the door open debating about what is and what is not real. I have a library full of books by philosophers and physicists who write at length about the subject. If you wish, you can spend the rest of your life reading these books through to fully understand that debate and its ultimate climax; there is simply no way to know. So, stop dawdling and come on in.”

By this time the girls had relaxed a bit and they looked at each other with a shrug and filed into the house. They stopped in a bunch at the center of what appeared to be a small rustic family room. The kitchen was well lit through a crooked doorway.

“You have a library in this house? Where? It is so small.” Asked Lisa.

“Ha! I have no idea. I am just a guest here. I am sure you will find it if you look.”

“What do you mean you are a guest here? This isn’t your house?”

“Yes and no. This is my house, but we are in your imagination. I am a free willed individual who is only playing a role in your collective imaginations. For me it is like a dream.” He waved his arms while looking around. “I know this is my house, but I have never been here before.”

“Then, who are you and why are you here?” Susan asked.

“Indeed. Introductions. My name is Percival and I go by many titles that, in the end, all mean the same thing: I am a Guide. A Spirit Guide if you will. You invited me here, and I came. I am at your service. So, come on into the kitchen and make yourself comfortable. I am sure the food will be ready very soon.” Percival then led them into the kitchen.

In the kitchen they all stood aghast as it was clear that the kitchen was way too big for the house. It wasn’t a huge kitchen, but from the outside the house was so tiny.

Pointing to the other side of the kitchen, Percival directed them, “If you wish to wash up first, go up those stairs and you will find a guest bedroom for each of you with everything you need.”

The girls were still stunned at the change in perspective and none of them could believe that there was a second floor to the house. In a tight group, they climbed the stairs. Percival yelled from the kitchen stove as they went, “The room on the left is the master and it is mine, but I am sure the other rooms are more than enough for your needs.”

At the top of the stairs none of them could resist looking into the master bedroom on the left. They peaked in but could not see anything. It was pitch black and they all had a deep sense of intrusion and decided to turn around. The hallway was impossibly long for the house, with doors along either side. They started to get the impression that they were in some sort of mansion. 

With a sly smile on her face, one they all knew well, Sarah looked at them and turned to run down the hall, checking each room as she went, looking for the best one to claim as her own. Jessica was quick to follow. Then Lisa and Susan walked quickly together chatting about what they saw. Laura and Mary both walked quietly in their own time and own way, but somehow together.

At the end of the hallway, Sarah claimed a large extravagant bedroom with a huge canopy bed. She flopped onto the bed with a squeal of delight. Jessica came in to see what had Sarah so excited. Decadent was the only way Jessica could think to describe the room. She quickly ran into the nearest door to claim the closest room. It was similar, but a little smaller and with a slightly smaller canopy bed. She considered it proper, and more stylish. By this time, Lisa and Susan had caught up and, hand in hand, claimed a very large ornate room with two full sized beds. Having walked to the end of the hall to see the rooms the other girls had, Laura and Mary now made their way back up the hall to claim a simple room with two standard twin beds with a matter-of-fact attitude.

There were dressers and closets full of clothes in each room, as a well as an attached bathroom. After a little time, they all came back into the hallway, freshened up and wearing the new clothes they had found.

Of course, they all stared at Sarah who was wearing a tiny black dress, that did a very poor job covering her, and breakneck stiletto heels. “Look what I found in the closet!” She exclaimed. “And it all fits perfectly!”

Almost as stunning was Jessica who was wearing a beautiful evening gown. She too was completely excited. Lisa and Susan were both dressed in a manner that would be considered very nice for their age. Laura and Mary wore jeans, T-shirts, and collared overshirts, but nobody noticed.

They all made their way back downstairs to find that the kitchen had become even bigger and more elaborate. And Percival was now dressed nicely in slacks, a silk Hawaiian shirt, and fancy leather sandals. He came past them carrying a serving dish of food and asked them to follow along. They went through a doorway into a beautiful dining-room lit only by candles.

Percival placed the serving dish on the table and addressed the girls, “Ladies. You all look wonderful. I am pleased that you were able to make yourselves comfortable. Please, have a seat and we will eat.” At which point he sat at the head of the table.

While sitting down, Susan comments, “It seems some people got better clothes than others.”

“Ha!” Percival quickly interjects to get their attention. “Ladies. This is your imagination, you will find only that which you ask for. The question you should be asking is, why did you ask for what you have?”

“Yeah.” Said Sarah to Susan. “Why didn’t you ask for something nicer?”

“I wasn’t talking about me.” Susan snapped back, and gave a little head nod towards Laura and Mary. Which caused everyone to look at them. 

Laura became self conscious and looked at her plate, while Mary looked back at them and shrugged her shoulders indifferently. “I’m good.” That broke the moment and everyone settled into filling their plates with food and having a good dinner.

As the meal drew to a close, Sarah asked, “So, if this is my imagination and I can get anything I ask for, where are the boys?”

To this the girls let out a sigh and a laugh. After they settled down Percival answered, “They cannot hear you. They too are free willed individuals who have their own imaginations to wrestle with. The six of you are here together because you have agreed to be here together.”

“But you heard us.” Said Laura.

“That is true, but it is my purpose to listen. I am a Guide.”

“Do the boys get lost too?” Asked Lisa.

“Oh yes. In fact, every person will, at some point in their life… in one way or another. People are mostly the same,.. only differing in timing and expression.”

“Differences in expression?” Asked Jessica.

“Well,.. Do you think boys would be eating in a dining room like this? Of course not. This is all a function of expression.”

“Any big differences?” Asked Susan.

“Well, the main difference, from my perspective, is that girls are far more likely to ask for guidance. Thus, I tend to work with girls more than boys.” Looking around at each girl, he decides to add. “I only guide those who ask. There is too much responsibility in it. Thus, we share it. You with your questions, and me with my answers.”

After this, everyone sat with their own thoughts for a few moments. No one saw Sarah, who was sitting next to Percival, make eye contact with him and give him a sweet little smile. Percival demurred and returned quickly to his meal, which made Sarah unable to hide a wide, ear-to-ear smile.

“So, when are you going to guide us back home?” Asked Laura.

“That, unfortunately, is a tricky question to answer. I am not in control here, I am only a Guide. It might help to understand the nature of our imaginations.” Sitting back in his chair and letting out a sigh for dramatic effect. “You see, our imaginations will always give us what we need, and it will always provide us with what we ask for. The trick is understanding which part of our consciousness is doing the asking. Only then can we start learning to ask for what we want.”

“My mouth is doing the asking.” Sarah said snidely.

Percival retorts sharply, “I am a Guide here and I know far more than you do, and I can promise you this one fact,.. Even I cannot manifest something from nothing by my conscious will alone.”

“What does that mean?” Asked Susan.

“It means that there is a part of you that is in control of this world, but you have no direct control over it. With maturity, experience, and practice you might learn to access it, to know what it is doing and why,.. so you might accept it, and work with it…”

“But, that isn’t going to help us much now… Is it.” Interjected Mary.

“No. That is very astute. It will not. What you all must deal with now, is learning to let go and trust your imaginations again. The reason you are lost is because you will not allow your imagination to go where it wants to go. Thus, you do not feel in control.”

“I thought you said we had no conscious control.” Said Lisa.

“That is true. You do not. That is why I used the phrase ‘feel in control’. Our imagination is free and unfettered when we feel like we are in control. The truth is that we are not in control. We are never in control. We are only open and accepting, and in alignment with what is happening. If we do not feel in control, then we are blocked. This usually happens because of fear or insecurity. Initially, with everyone, this is because we do not know ourselves that well yet. But, later in life it can happen when our imagination pushes us into foreign environments.”

“I don’t understand, if we are not in control, then isn’t getting lost what is meant to happen?” Mary asked, looking perplexed.

“A very good question. The answer is yes and no. Getting lost is a part of growing up and life’s experiences, but staying lost is not something anyone would wish for. With that said, we do have one power in this world; and that is the power of delay. Dragging our feet – resisting progress. However, it really is not a conscious thing. There is something deep inside of us that is holding us back. At the place where we do the asking, we are asking ourselves to wait.”

“This sounds like a trick.” Mary said skeptically.

“It most definitely is. That is exactly the right perspective to look at this from… If you are paying attention, figuring out how to stop the delay is figuring out how to access that part of your consciousness.”

“And you will guide us past this hurdle?” Asked Jessica.

“I will try to the best of my ability. But, now I will ask you to leave the dishes, I will clean them up, but then I am going to bed. Please feel free to explore the house and make yourself at home, and I wish you a peaceful night.”

The next morning, Laura and Mary were the first to come down into the kitchen where they found Percival making breakfast. “Good morning, ladies. Breakfast?”

“Good morning. Yes, please.” They both said. 

Percival served them at the kitchen table. “Oh my, you make an omelette just like my mother does.” Mary exclaimed.

Percival snickers and says, “Naturally.”

“What’s so funny?” Asked Laura. “These eggs are exactly as my grandmother makes.”

“I am only a guest in your imagination. How I do this is to allow myself to be guided by your energy. So, it is only natural that I make food that is so familiar to you.”

“So, wait…” Mary interjected, “you are guiding us by letting us guide you?”

“I am a Guide. I play a role in your imagination. I do this by allowing myself to answer your questions. The questions which are asked from that part of you that is in control. And through this interaction, you gain some insight into who you are. Does that make sense?”

“Not really.” Said Laura.

“Don’t worry. Like algebra, it does not need to make sense for it to work.”

“Oh, great.” Laura says sarcastically, which made them all laugh.

Just then Lisa and Susan came down and Percival served them their breakfasts to the same exclamations of familiarity. However, they remembered a breakfast they all made together after a sleepover, and they never asked why or how. The time went by with light banter and fun conversation. Eventually, Jessica came down the stairs in a small pool robe showing a very sleek and fashionable bikini underneath. She carried everything she needed for a day at the beach. 

“What are you doing?” Asked Susan.

“Sarah saw the pool out the window and we thought a day by the pool was exactly what we needed.”

They all looked out the window with surprise at the very spacious pool and patio. The girls were still looking when Sarah came down the stairs in a string bikini that, while it did just cover her nipples and vagina, it did not leave anything to the imagination. Percival was the only one to see her come down the stairs, and she took the last few steps for his pleasure. To which he showed discomfort and tried to hide his attention from the other girls. Again, this gave Sarah a very big smile and made her more confident. The rest were a little stunned at the sight of her, but not too much because they knew her. Sarah grabbed a muffin from the counter and walked right out the door giving one last playful glance at Percival. Again, after she saw him looking, he demurred and turned back to the stove.

Jessica sat down with muted delight to her small posh breakfast. Just like she had seen in a magazine once. The other four girls ran back upstairs to change into their bathing suits. Not surprisingly, Lisa and Susan wore simple but modest bikinis, and Laura and Mary wore one piece suits. It was still fairly early in the morning, and the girls spent a few hours lying in the sun and chatting about everything.

After a while, Sarah got up and went back inside to use the restroom. Inside, after using the restroom, she went up the stairs knowing exactly where she would find Percival. At the top of the stairs she turned left and into the master bedroom. He was standing in front of the bed folding something. She said, “There you are.”

He looked up a bit startled and made an effort to compose himself. “Hello Sarah. Can I help you with something?”

Sarah walked right up to him and looked seductively into his eyes. “Yes. I think there is something you might help me with.” She then started to unbutton his shirt.

Percival’s body became rigid, pulling his head back from her and said that he didn’t think it was a good idea. Sarah did not stop, but said, “Oh, I think we’ll be alright. I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

“That may be true, I still don’t think…” Sarah stopped him by kissing him. He reluctantly loosened up a little, and just as he started to kiss back she backed off. Turning around she untied her bathing suit and it fell to the floor as she closed the bedroom door.

Shortly before lunchtime, Sarah came back out of the house without her bikini top on. The other girls looked at her in disbelief as she laid back in her chair, soaking up their attention like it was the sun.

She waited for them to ask, but that was taking too long. “Men are so weak.” She said with a smirk. “I had him wrapped around my finger right from the start.” She then went on to tell them all the details. Both the ones that were true, and the ones she wanted to be true. They all listened closely. Around the time she finished, Percival stuck his head out the door and asked if they wanted lunch. They all responded in unison and went into the house.

It took a few minutes of staring and snickering, but eventually the girls settled down and they all had a normal conversation around the kitchen table about nothing at all important.

After lunch, all the girls took a quick trip back up to their rooms to refresh themselves, then five of them bounced back out to the pool. Jessica was the one remaining who slowly came down the stairs like a debutante while Percival cleared the table and the other girls were in the pool. She was as certain about the outcome as Sarah had been, but she was far more refined and respectful about it. She was polite and giving in her flirtations, and instinctively understood how to change the energy in the room so that she would not need to be too aggressive. After some time of this, she gently took Percival’s hand and led him back upstairs.

Later, as Jessica walked back out to the others, Sarah was the loudest and the first to comment on her smirk. They all did the rounds of joking and rude remarks. When they all got it out of their system, Jessica settled down to tell her story. Naturally, Jessica was not as crude or detailed as Sarah was, but the overall message was the same and she glowed with all the attention.

That afternoon they all decided to retire for a well deserved nap. They all went up to their respective rooms and shut the doors. Most laid down to sleep, but Lisa and Susan could not sleep. The energy of their friendship, along with all the new events to talk about, kept them awake and chatting away. Eventually, they gave up trying to sleep and quietly went out into the hall to go down into the kitchen to find a snack. On their way, they saw Percival in the master bedroom and went in to look around.

Lisa and Susan had a friendship that was very energetic, and they pulled Percival into that energy. They closed the door so as not to bother the others with their talking. Bouncing around the room turned to sitting on the bed. Sitting at different corners of the bed turned into leaning on each other. Which turned into tickling, caressing, and playing with each other’s hair.

That evening the others came down to find Lisa and Susan quietly sitting at the kitchen table while Percival worked on dinner. Again, Sarah was first to notice the smirks and made a comment designed to get them to talk. No one in the group expected them to talk or tell their story verbally, especially with Percival standing nearby. However, their smiles and the way that Lisa and Susan were even more emotionally entwined told the girls all they needed to know. With nothing they could talk about out loud, they all helped with dinner by setting the dining room table and bringing the food out. Only Sarah and Jessica felt the need to change for dinner. Both outdoing their outfits from the night before.

After dinner, the girls found a parlor to hang-out in and talk to the sound of Percival cleaning dishes. Most of the conversation was about how a mansion in their imagination did not have a radio or television. This completely perplexed them. Finally, Susan got up and asked Percival who was just finishing cleaning up the kitchen. He laughed at the question and told her that they were in the television. “Ask the others,” he said, “how long would you watch a show about you watching a show?” As she left, he added, “You might not feel as though you always have purpose in the ‘real world’, but here you do… whether you like it or not.”

No one noticed when Laura slipped out of the room. Not that she really tried to be discreet. And they were only slightly aware that she was gone for a while when she came back in. This time Mary was the first to notice the look on Laura’s face. She didn’t say anything though, they can be cruel to her at times. Thus, Mary was the only one to notice the look on her face and how she behaved the rest of the night.

It wasn’t too long before they all called it a night and went to bed. Mary laid wide awake listening to Laura stifle soft sniffles. Mary had no idea how long she was lying there awake, what time it was, or when Laura finally fell asleep, but she knew she needed answers. So, she got up and quietly walked down the hall.

Mary gently opened the door to the master bedroom and saw that the large room was completely empty, except for Percival sitting in a regular wooden chair in the middle of the room with another wooden chair facing him about eight feet away. Percival saw her, “Mary. Please come in. I have been expecting you.”

Mary gently closed the door behind her and the energy of the room changed, which caused a fleeting sense of confusion. Percival noticed and comforted her, “Please have a seat. When you closed the door this illusion became entirely your own. Not shared with your friends at all.”

Mary sat down and tried to think of what to say. She eventually asked in a quiet and uncertain voice, “Why?”

“Laura?” To which Mary nodded. “Well, to understand what happened to Laura, we must understand the context of the situation as a whole. What happened to Sarah, Jessica, and Lisa and Susan.”

“But, they wanted to have sex.”

“So did Laura.” Seeing that Mary didn’t believe him. “Mary, nothing happens in your imagination without your permission and approval. I am only sitting here like this because you have asked me to.”

“But, why would someone hurt themselves like that?”

“Are you certain that her tears are because she was hurt? Or that she is disappointed.” Percival allowed a moment to pass. “What do you know about Laura in the context of this group of friends.”

“She doesn’t really fit in.”

“Right. And, whenever Laura chooses to do something, in the context of this group of friends, why does she do it?”

“Because she wants to fit it in.”

Percival smiled softly at Mary’s eye contact. “Laura came into this room, closed the door behind her, took her clothes off and got into my bed. For me it was like a dream, as is this. It was very gentle and sweet, but it lacked intent. She wasn’t really interested. It was only something she was doing because she thought she had to.”

“Then why was she so upset?”

“It is not about the sex. The sex is only an expression of something else.”

“If not sex, then what?”

“The feeling of control.” He let that sink in for a moment. “Sarah always has to be first and feel like the center of attention; the most aggressive and abusive. Why?”

“Control?”

“Yes. That is how she gains a sense of control. Jessica is always right on her heels. Why?” Mary just shook her head. “Because she has to feel better than everyone. People who build their lives around the feeling of being better than others can seldom be first. They tend to align themselves with a Sarah type so they can see what they do, then do it better and chastise the others for not doing it yet.” Seeing the face she made, he added, “Well, better from her perspective.” At this Mary laughed.

“And Lisa and Susan?”

“Their comradery is what gives them a sense of control. It will be funny when they get older and find husbands. Their husbands will know who is the most important person in their lives and there is nothing they will be able to do about it.”

“So, Laura gets a sense of control by trying to fit in?”

“Not at all. What do you think everyone is trying to gain control of?  Especially here in your imagination?” He waited and saw no response coming. “Yourself. Every person must, at some point, figure out how to feel in control of themselves within their own imagination. When we do this, we begin to create our own identity and character that radiates out into the real world.”

“But, what does that mean to us?”

“To put it frankly, you are a group of friends who are delaying your imaginations because you want to stay together. Staying together has become more important than allowing your imaginations to be free.” Percival let a few moments pass, “Who do you think is the most mature person of this group?” Again, Mary just shook her head. “You are. What you are experiencing right now is a moment of pure guidance. You and I are sitting face to face and having a conversation without any distractions or craziness. How are you doing this?”

“Control?”

“No. You have no control.”

“Acceptance? I am allowing it.”

“Yes. But acceptance of what?”

Mary took time to think. “Acceptance that I am not the same as anyone else. That I have to trust my own feelings.” 

“Exactly! But, if I may push you further… through what feeling? Everyone focuses on one feeling and builds their life around it. Sarah will build her life around being the center of attention, Jessica will build her life around feeling better than others, and Lisa and Susan will build around their comradery. What will you build around?”

“Comfort, and fairness maybe… and I think that things need to make sense to me.”

“Sense how?”

“I don’t know… maybe that everything needs to…”

“Be in alignment?”

“Yes.”

“That is called having a sense of context. Most people think about their home when they want to feel a sense of context, but the trick is that the concept of our own home means different things to different people.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that the idea of ‘Home’ is not the same for everyone. For some it is a person, or people like a family. For others it might be a career, or a passion like art,.. or even a single emotion. Growing up is about making the effort to find what we call home on our own terms, not necessarily the one shared with our parents or friends.”

“What about Laura?”

“If you are at the front, then she is at the back. She is not ready to be at this place yet.” Percival sees Mary thinking and answers the question she was coming to. “Gaining a sense of control in our imagination involves allowing ourselves to be who we are in the place we call home. Both of these things require much effort and many mistakes. The four others have used me to gain a better understanding of themselves. They are unstuck, for now, but they are still lost. Now, they must go out and find the place they call home. You came here ahead of the others; already with a good idea of who you are. And, when this is all over, you will have a very good sense of what is your home.”

Percival waited a moment for Mary’s thoughts to catch up. “This is why Laura is disappointed. Because no matter what she does, she still does not feel like she fits in, which means that she has not yet found herself in her own imagination. But, she will in time. If she is not left here alone.”

“Why would she stay here?”

“A good question. As sad as she is, she is still here and has not gone home. This should tell you something about what she considers to be her home right now.”

“Shouldn’t you have said no to her then?”

Percival responded sharply, “No! It is far worse to be rejected in our imaginations. People who experience rejection in their own imaginations either become toxic or commit suicide. It is much better to allow it to go forward. Then, at least, the lesson is experienced. This is why people get confused about the nature of us Guides.”

With her last piece of energy, she asked. “What feeling do you build your life around? What is your home?” 

Percival gave her a broad smile, “Love.” With this, Mary got up and walked back to her bed without saying a word.

In the morning, Mary found herself alone in her room. She got dressed and went downstairs to find the large mansion had turned back into a tiny stone house. The kitchen was rustic, but cozy. She turned around to see if the stairs had changed, but they were not there at all anymore. Percival was nowhere to be found. She took an apple from a bowl of fruit and went out the back door to where Laura was sitting on a large flat rock next to a large tree.

“No more pool, huh?” Mary said as she sat down next to Laura.

“No. But, I think I like this better.” Laura was sullen. “Sarah and Jessica went off that way, but I think Jessica saw something else and changed directions. Lisa and Susan went that way. It wasn’t that long ago. I’m sure you could catch up.”

“No. I’m good.” Laura let out a sigh and put her head on Mary’s shoulder. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah.”

“You know my mom’s lasagna?”

“I love your mom’s lasagna.”

“Yeah. I was thinking of going back and asking her to teach me how to make it. Want to come along?”

“Definitely.”

February 2018