Prologue

Millions of years ago, what we know as life most likely began when a bolt of lightning struck a warm tidal pool, radically altering the chemicals and elements in the water.

One

It didn’t change me.

It only made me more aware.

I always entered a room quietly, and watched until I felt comfortable with how the energy moved. Until, that is, alcohol entered the game. Alcohol is the great equalizer. The effects are the same for everyone. There are many people who only knew me after I had become acclimated to an environment. And when they experienced me entering a new environment for the first time, without alcohol, they would be shocked. Back then, I was barely aware of anything. I simply lived in the world as anyone does.

It didn’t change me.

It only made me more aware. 

In fact, I don’t even know if that is true. This is only the story I tell myself; to give my life context. As far as I know, for those who choose to pay attention, everyone’s consciousness is always growing. For me, for my story, the lightning strike is simply a bookmark that is the beginning of being aware of my expanding awareness.

Two

I was working for the Forest Service on the Conejos Peak Ranger District of the Rio Grande National Forest. Staying in barracks in Platoro and working on the Red Mountain timber sale marking trees. We parked our trucks about five miles from Platoro and had to hike with heavy packs up to four miles to the site. There were no roads at the time that could get us any closer.

One afternoon, me and a workmate were several miles from our truck when a strong thunderstorm rolled in, putting down a lot of lightning. It wasn’t the first storm of the summer, nor would it be the last. We took standard precautions and waited for it to pass.

First, we found a spot half way up a valley slope under a stand of even aged trees that were about fifty feet tall. It is important to stay away from any large obtrusive trees. As the storm got closer I turned off my two way radio. Closer still, and my workmate and I moved about twenty-five feet apart and faced each other. It moved right on top of us so I stood on one foot to reduce surface area and put my hands on my upper thighs with my elbows out. The idea is to give the lightning a path that is away from the heart.

Standing there in the downpour with some small hail hitting my hardhat, I caught a whiff of ozone and began the process of thinking, “oh shit.” I never got to finish the thought. I wasn’t hit, but with my eyes closed tightly it was so bright that it was blinding. And it pulsed for a few moments and I could feel the heat.

A few moments later the rain was letting up and the thunder was moving safely away. My partner and I both said that we found the place where the lightning hit. Although, we went to different spots. About ten feet below and a little behind me a tree had a softball sized hole blown out the side of the trunk about four feet off the ground. Shards of smoking wood strewn all over the ground. Almost exactly in between us, and a few feet above the contour line we were standing on, he was pointing to a tree that had a smoking scar spiraling up its trunk; starting about five feet up and going to the top. If the lightning traveled in a straight line from tree to tree I figured it was not more than three or four feet from me.

Typical of young men after the fact, we were really excited and wanted it to happen again. After a few minutes of recounting the event to each other and doing some quick assessments, I turned my radio back on and we got back to work.

Three

I have always had a lot of dreams. Usually around three a night, and they can range from quick forgettable vignettes to very long, multi episode movies.

A few years after the lightning strike, as I was beginning to struggle with what seemed to be new awareness, I had a very clear and intense dream.

Me and my workmate from that day were on an alien spaceship in a large central room with a number of humanoid individuals. They looked similar to us, but with no hair at all. They all wore shiny robes that were either blue or green. I knew the colors meant something, but I had no idea what.

The aliens had me and my workmate stand about ten feet apart facing each other. They put a long metal rod into his ear and I watched as it went deeper and deeper. At the same time I felt something tickling my inner ear, so I knew they were doing the same thing to me.

Afterwards, we stood watching each other as they watched us. He slowly lost his composure and descended into a screaming tantrum. They took him away and I was left standing there looking at them watching me with building excitement on their faces. They displayed the excitement of great success.

Epilogue 

I really don’t know or care if any of this means anything. It is just a part of my story. I do know that as I have aged, I have also become more aware of the things happening around me. I watch as energy passes through a crowd and pushes people into other people. The interactions playing out like pool balls in a peculiar game of telephone. I struggled with the awareness of what my energy did as it rippled outward. It was a fear of responsibility. I have learned that the best thing to do is sit still as long as possible. Eventually, and invariably, my path makes itself clear.