My entire life I have had an intense feeling of being embraced, and guided. Perhaps it began only from my parent’s love and compassion, but as I got older it never went away. I learned early on to live step by step with confidence and no concern of an outcome, as this guidance ensured everything would always work out. Even if I didn’t understand how or why.

As I got older and life became complicated, doubt would sneak into my mind and I found myself wondering if I wasn’t the subject of a secret government plot all along. It seemed that somewhere along the line the sweet loving embrace of God, that compelled creativity and discovery, shifted to the cold hard hold of man, that demanded a logical conclusion. My steps became less confident; less certain.

Now I wonder if there really is a difference? Could one just be a shadow of the other? A fall from grace?.. or perhaps just evolution. It would be nice to be able to choose which embrace I could wrap myself in, but I have never been educated in how to do that; how to even perceive that. I cannot change my steps for something I am not aware of… has this always been the torment that exists when creativity clashes with logic?

No matter, I will know the truth after I die.