Father’s Day is approaching here in the States, and there is the usual tidal wave of commercials.

It is alright to buy a man a lawnmower as a gift, but buying a woman a vacuum cleaner ends with being drawn and quartered. Is it sexism? Of course, but not in a bad way. It is simply an aspect of our evolution that keeps our species alive. The following is a small section from my philosophical work “Maciolekism” that shares my perspective. (Link opens a Google Doc.)

Gender and Sex

Masculinity and Femininity

Masculinity and femininity are not things that we can define logically, they are measured by their environments. Like Yin and Yang, they always find balance with one another. A balance that is constantly pushing and pulling back and forth, changing and evolving.

Objectification

We are all born objects.

If we are lucky, over a long lifetime, we will have the opportunity to get to know ourselves as an individual person.

If we are blessed, we will be given the opportunity to know a handful of others as individuals, with one other individual as a part of ourselves.

It is impossible for a man to not initially measure women as sex objects, just as it is impossible for women not to initially measure men as providers. It is a reflex. Our evolution depends on it.

Even if a woman has all the money she needs, she will still instinctively measure the men she meets in terms of what they can do for her.

Interestingly, men and women will objectify members of their own gender in the same way. Men measure other men in terms of what they can provide, and women measure other women as sexual competitors.

Despite outside pressure, both positive and negative, a woman must work to see the beauty in herself and a man must work to find the value in his labor.

The problem we face in our world is not that we see other people as objects, it is that we treat all of the objects in our lives poorly… people or otherwise.

Gender and Evolution

In terms of evolution, men control the present and women control the future.

A man’s evolutionary advantage lies in his reactions, his ability to survive. This is why men have evolved to be risk takers.

A woman’s evolutionary advantage lies in her choices, who she chooses to mate with. This is why women have evolved to be political and emotional calculators.

The most primitive way a man gets what he wants is through the threat of violence.

The most primitive way a woman gets what she wants is through the promise of sex.

Neither benefit from crossing the line to actually fighting or having sex. However, depending on how desperate they are, they both have the capacity to push things right to the edge where failure is extreme.

Human history is measured by the battle between men and women. Men wanting to control a woman’s choice, and women wanting to control men’s reactions. Both men and women share equal time as predator and prey.

The battle between predator and prey will never end. Evolution guarantees this. Freedom and equality of genders is measured by the individual’s ability to fight and adapt in this battle on their own terms.

Toxic Masculinity vs Toxic Femininity

In the neverending evolutionary battle between men and women both sides have developed many strategies to gain an advantage. Strategies that fall on a spectrum between overt brutishness and subtle manipulation. These strategies have become so deeply ingrained into our behaviors and cultures that we are not even aware of them. As time goes by, civilization evolves and people adapt, these ingrained behaviors slowly become more and more anachronistic. One by one, working our way up the spectrum, we become aware of these unnecessary behaviors because we experience them as being out of context. The behaviors we recognize as being out of context are what we consider to be toxic.

On the spectrum that goes from overt brutishness to subtle manipulation, we are not even half way in the awareness of our own behaviors.

Sex

The purpose of sex is to reproduce. However, there are three other reasons people will have sex.

• Fun and entertainment.
• Stress relief and mood management.
• Social and emotional bonding.

Sex is the only activity humans can do that involves all of the Four Labors. (Link opens Google Doc.) At its pinnacle, sex can be a pathway to developing a deeper awareness of the human experience as an individual and in relationship.

There is no more powerful tool than sex to open and lift someone up, or abuse and shut them down.