After getting halfway through a stack of dirty dishes, a man sits down at the end of the dinner table where most of the extended family are playing a heated game of Uno.

Ugh!! Someone reverse it!

Uncle Craig!! are you going to play with us now?

How about a skip instead?

Um… no. Didn’t help at all.

No. I think I will sit this one out. You got enough players as it is. I will just watch.

That’s no fun.

Fun is relative.

But relatives are no fun.

Nice Dad.

What does that mean?

It means that what is fun for one person might not be fun for another.

You don’t like playing with us?

Ha! Ok Mister Question. Of course I like playing with you, but not every moment is the same… For example, even though you love your sister…

Ewww!!!

Bleh!! I do not!

Not at all!

Even though you love your sister… Do you always want to play with her?

No.

Not… at… all.

Uno!

No. Of course not… and you shouldn’t have to… And when you get older, you might even want to sit and relax and enjoy watching everyone else having fun playing a game. Or even, at the risk of angering the crowd, you might even enjoy doing things to make the game more fun for those who are playing.

Yes… let us not anger the crowd.

Why would that anger the crowd?

Because it is an opening to a political statement.

Oh… here we go.

What is so political about it?

Well, if you would take the top card off the discard pile and hand me the rest, I will tell you while I shuffle those for you… It looks like you are going to need them.

I don’t think so… my dad just got uno.

Yeah, but judging by the look on your grandmother’s face, that won’t last long.

Oh… go Grandma! Don’t skip Grandma!

This is collusion… no fair.

Please… your winning.

I’m waiting…

Alright already… the basis of my point is that we can’t all play the game.

We can’t?

In a baseball game, someone has to be an umpire. Don’t they?

Yes.

Does the umpire get to play the game?

No.

Does the umpire get to pick a side they want to win?

No.

Why not?

Because it wouldn’t be fair.

Why should the game be fair?

So it’s more fun. Without an umpire, everyone ends up arguing and fighting.

That is exactly right.

But, how is this political?

It is political because the people who are public servants, the politicians, should be like umpires, but they are not. They are all playing the game as well. Thus, it is not fair.

So, they are bad people.

Not necessarily. I don’t think it is their fault. They are just not very smart, or mature. You see, they were raised to believe that everyone should be playing the game at all times. That is what capitalism is. Capitalism is the belief that there should be no umpires.

No umpires? But, who calls balls and strikes?

By the principles of capitalism, the pitcher and batter would call their own balls and strikes.

But they won’t agree, and get into fights.

Yes…

Is this what the news is about every night?

Yes it is. The politicians are not being good public servants. They are not being umpires. So, the corporations and rich people are calling all their own balls and strikes and that is making everyone more and more angry. People are getting angry at the politicians for not doing their job,.. and angry at the corporations for how they are calling their own balls and strikes… but also, angry that corporations are fighting with other corporations about balls and strikes.

Ohhh,.. that’s why it’s so confusing.

That is right. And to make it even more confusing, without umpires… without the politicians doing their jobs… all nations and governments become just another kind of corporation.

Corporations that get into arguments and fights with all the other corporations.

So, if the politicians aren’t being umpires, what are they doing?

They are helping corporations and rich people call their own balls and strikes… depending on who pays them the most money.

It is crazy if you think about it… if a person worked for a company, got paid by that company, and also took money from another company so that second company could gain access to the first company, not only would that person be fired… the first company would sue the crap out of the person. But that is exactly what the politicians do.

Did you listen to your grandpa?

Yeah… I think. Then how do we get the politicians to be umpires again?

That is a good question.

What’s also crazy is that politicians can take money from anyone, but the police can’t. They are umpires too.

Now you got him started.

A good point, as it is important to understand that it is not only politicians. There are many other positions people need to play in our society that require them to stay out of the game.

Like what?

Well, besides the police… the easiest example is that of priests. You have heard the stories in the news about the priests doing bad things to children.

Yes.

Craig. Enough.

No, Dad… It’s okay. It needs to be discussed.

It’s alright. I’ll keep it simple… You see, in the Catholic religion, priests are supposed to be like umpires. But, different from how politicians or police are supposed to be umpires.

Different how?

Well, politicians are supposed to be umpires of money and business, police are supposed to be umpires of how people act, and priests are supposed to be umpires of the spirit.

What does that mean? Umpires of the spirit.

It is a difficult concept. We can keep it simple by saying it is a function of community self-esteem; of how people see themselves and the people around them. It used to mean much more, long ago before we started to make everything scientific.

Then, why still have them? Why is there still religion?

Because things take time to change and there are still a lot of people who do not want to live scientifically. And that is OK.

Oh.

But, suffice to say, when a priest takes advantage of someone in their church, they are neglecting their duties as an umpire so they can play the game too… just like when a politician takes money from a corporation. Both the priests and the politicians are taking advantage of their position for their own benefit… just in different ways. A politician exploits a community financially, a priest exploits it spiritually.

So, if the politicians aren’t doing their job because they were raised to be capitalists, is that the same with the priests?

Excellent question!.. Actually… no it is not. The structures of our government and the Catholic Church are different. The problem with the priests is that The Church, as a whole, forgot its role and didn’t do enough to punish and remove the fallen priests. The problem with politicians is that we all have become too focused on getting more money than we really need.

Evil begets Evil. The Church became obsessed with money and power, which caused them to forget their spiritual duties.

But, wouldn’t that make us The Church? Isn’t it our responsibility to punish and remove the fallen politicians?

Hmmm… interesting… you’re saying that, in a democracy, the people of a country are The Church and the politicians are the priests. I have never thought of it like that. You are a very smart kid.

I know… Uno!!

Ha! Like chewing gum and walking at the same time. Fantastic!!

Funny.

Uncle Craig?

Yes.

I like playing the game. I don’t want to be an umpire.

That is alright… so long as you are always honest about it. Never pretend to be an umpire.

But I like the umpires. They make the game more fun.

Exactly. A person should be allowed to have money or power, but not both.

There is no difference between The Church ignoring and covering up their priest problem and our politicians ignoring our gun problem.

He’s not going to stop, is he?

Nope.