I am a Conflict Avoider. There,.. I said it.

I will go to great lengths to avoid conflict. It is not that I am afraid of conflict, or a good fight for that matter, it is just that I am aware that there is more baggage and trouble that comes with conflict than is seen on the surface. I reserve my Fight Mode for when it is absolutely necessary. You know… just like almost all other life on Earth.

Also… I am not Migratory. I do not avoid conflict by leaving my ecosystem. I avoid conflict by adaptation. Looking for little ways to alter what I am doing to bring peace and balance back to my little world. It is a simple function of cost analysis. Does the cost of a conflict outweigh the cost of adaptation? It is extremely rare that the cost of conflict, and all the baggage that comes with it, is less than the cost of adaptation. Especially if we are very creative and flexible.

It is particularly interesting when a Conflict Avoider is tangled up with Conflict Pursuer for an extended period of time. A Conflict Pursuer is a person who gets what they want by being aggressive and confrontational. These two adversaries will push each other to the breaking point – the Conflict Pursuer constantly changing their attack, while the Conflict Avoider matches each move with a clever adaptation. At some point, either the creativity of the Avoider runs out, or the Pursuer over extends themselves and cannot hide their intent anymore. (If the Avoider is paying attention, they will know this as the moment to stop avoiding and strike back.)

If we should know only one thing about evolution, it is that the evolution of life is predominantly a display of Conflict Avoidance. Conflict Avoiders represent the largest and most stable parts of any ecosystem. A Conflict Pursuer’s, or predator’s, existence is always tenuous… always on the prowl, searching for someone new to antagonize. Without which, survival is not likely. (Which should be sobering news for the U.S. economy.)